Dealing With The Wet Spot

Sex is beautiful! Sex is fun!

Sex is great until someone lays back for some well-earned rest and rolls into the Wet Spot.

The butt of many a sitcom and rom-com and lack-of-com joke, the wet spot is that part of the bed (couch, chair, bearskin rug) that happens to be ground zero of the collection of sexual juices. A veritable puddle of sexual secretions. And if you’re planning on spending time on the furniture you just fornicated on, chances are one of you or your partner(s) will no doubt roll into, put a hand on, or just end up passing out on The Wet Spot.

Some people consider this a bad thing. Sure, you’ve just been all hot and heavy and this little collection is probably cooling down faster than you are. It can certainly be a jolt out of post-coital bliss to have your butt touch a cool puddle of cum. And so, debates and arguments have resulted in this eternal question:

Who gets the wet spot?

If you adhere to the common belief of male chivalry, then the heteronormative model would dictate that the dude gets dunked. However, this line of thinking excludes various different types of sexual partnerships. What about two guys? What about two women? What about two guys and two women (or any other configuration that is more than three)? Do you draw straws, play rock paper scissors or arm wrestle? Who’s got strength for arm wrestling after sex?

If you have a lot of trust in your partner, you could go on the honour system. You could take turns every time you have sex. Switch back and forth. This could be a multi-use analysis of your relationship. If you catch your partner skimping on wet spot duty and insisting it is your turn again, you just might have a new glimpse into their soul.

Or you could just make it simple. If the sexy times happen on your side of the bed, you get the spot. On your partner’s? They get the spot. In the middle, well, everybody wins because then there’s no expectation of that after sex cuddling business (kidding!). Of course, we’re back in psychological experiment land here. You just might notice your partner shifting over to your side for amorous attentions a little more often. Like, all the time. And then, there you go, soaker city all the time.

All of this devious behaviour can, of course, be avoided with one simple remedy: embrace the wet spot!

Sure, you might be done, you might be tired, you might not want to revel in the sex you just had, but... you just had sex! And hopefully it was great! Hopefully everyone involved got off and had a fantastic time. Instead of contorting your body in any way possible to avoid a little spillage, touch it, rub your hands in it, rub your junk in it, get down there and lick it up... okay, well, that might be a different level of appreciation. The point is this: your sex, your partner’s sex, your orgy’s sex is something to be enjoyed as it starts, during and after it is done. Will a brief cold chill truly dampen the good time you just had?

Not at all.