Isn’t it funny that the things that often kickstarts and begins our sexual lives is often something that gets forgotten when other, more involved, activities come along. At the same time, many people are quite able to remember their first time, the first person, where it happened and even how that person tasted.
It is the smooch, the lip lock, the tonsil hockey, the peck...the kiss.
Is a kiss just a kiss?
Kissing is a custom that seems to transcend human experience. Are there cultures out there that do not engage in kissing (please let me know who they are!). It is an act that means countless things, but here we’re going to discuss the impact kissing has on our sex lives. As noted earlier, kissing is an intrinsic part of our early sex lives...we spend hours making out and necking. This is often the case with new, young couples. Oh, how our jaws don’t fall off! But when bigger sexual acts are introduced into the relationship, and if it becomes a long-term coupling, kissing can take a backseat to the rigours of day-to-day living, as well as being pushing aside for “main event” sex.
This doesn’t—and really shouldn’t be the case. Sure kissing is a great part of hot sex, but it is also a very intimate experience that strengthens bonds and relationships. If kissing has fallen by the wayside in your relationship, try some of these tips to reignite that feeling that was the first sparks of your passion.
Make a kissing date
As life moves forward with job, kids, mortgage....you know, the fun stuff….but you still feel that desire in your sexybits for your partner, it is easy to slip into a pattern of not putting enough into foreplay. Damnit, you’re tired! Or there is still work to do! Or the kids have been a drag all day. But you’re still horny and just want to fuck. Well, take a think back to the exquisite passion that drew you and your partner together with your first kiss. Sure, some people come together by hooking up on the first date. But even before they had that sex, they had a kiss. And as different as it might be, tap into that energy and have a kissing date. Spend the time you would having sex in a romantic and passionate make out session with your partner. There is no guarantee this won’t lead to more, but try and keep it all about the lips a few times. Excitement grows with connection.
Surprise kisses
The lips are so sensitive and delicate, but they can be “ready” for a kiss when it is expected. There’s just a different sensation when you know a kiss is what comes next. Now, I am not suggesting non-consensual, jump-out-from-behind-a-door kisses—that is too surprising. Rather, think of moments when your partner is involved with something, but could be momentarily distracted. This is the type of situation to walk up, guide their face, look in their eyes and give a gentle kiss on the lips. Full-on necking might not work here, but hey, maybe it will. The idea here is to convey a thought of “I am thinking of you and I appreciate you.” This type of kiss will bring most folks to their knees!
Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.
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