Q&A: Introducing My Wife To Porn

Q: "My wife is hesitant to give porn a try. She says she doesn’t like it, but she says she’d like to try watching some with me to see if there’s something that turns her on. She knows I love watching porn. The problem is, we don’t know where to start and I’m afraid to show her stuff that will turn her off. Can you please give me some advice?"

A: Porn is a very individual thing. What floats your boat may not float hers... and vice versa. While it is great that she’s interested in trying, you’re right that finding something she finds hot from the get-go is key. If you show her a film that really gets you going and she replies with a ‘meh’ or even worse is offended by it, that will dampen the experience for the both of you.

And we all know there is a lot of offensive porn out there. Somehow the industry went off the rails in depicting some really degrading stuff... and producing it in an equally awful manner. However, times are changing and there is porn that is being created that respects both consumers and performers and is just so much hotter than the run-of-the-mill crap that dominated the 80s and 90s.

To begin your porn viewing adventure, first have some conversations with your wife. What does she want to see and experience in porn. As she has no experience with it, she might just shrug her shoulders. In that case, lead her to some ideas. Does she want a film with a story? Does she want something softcore or hardcore? Is she attracted to the idea of characters or is she more interested in specifically seeing sex? Is she a visual person who wants direct sex on her screen, or does she want to be immersed in an experience? Does she want something that can be instructive and hot at the same time?

Now that the porn world is opening up to the idea that women want porn and that performances are much hotter when they are authentic with performers being treated well and truly enjoying what they are doing, productions are much hotter and accessible to wider audiences. It isn’t all wham, bam, cum on her face anymore. However, if you go seeking porn randomly online, that is most likely what you’re going to find. Fortunately, once you learn some of the players in the new world of porn, you’ll be able to find DVDs or clips.

And who is out there? Once you and your wife determine what you want to look for, search among some of these names: Erika Lust, Lucy Blush, Courtney Trouble, Jacky St. James, Petra Joy, Jiz Lee, Shine Louise Houston, Ms. Naughty, Gala Vanting, Tristan Taormino and more. You will also find a wide range of producers creating a vast array of styles and interests under the banner of Feminist Porn.

Ultimately, introducing your wife to porn will result in some very personal feelings for her. Maybe she’ll love it and enjoy getting worked up with you while watching. She may potentially have no sexy feelings about it at all. It is great she’s willing to try, but ultimately, be sure to respect her feelings.

You can always sit down with her and browse our sister website, a dvd porn site that sells over 7,000 DVDs. There's quite a lot of different themes and types on there, so discuss what types of scenes you would like to see first so you don't get too overwhelmed. Just follow the link here.