Sale - Up to 70% off

Sale - Up to 70% off

Q&A: We Can't Find Time For Sex!

Q&A: We Can't Find Time For Sex!

Q: We don’t know what to do. My partner and I have been drifting apart sexually over the past half year. We used to have wild and crazy sex all the time! Seriously, we fucked every chance we could get. And it isn’t like we’re some new fresh couple that the thrill has worn off for. We’ve been together for over 10 years and things have remained amazing through all that time. Until about six months ago when sex just fell off the radar. Now we’re lucky if it is once a week. The thing is, we know why this is. Both my husband and I got promotions at work, at around the same time. So we’re busy, we’re stressed, we’ve got the kids as well and all that. We fit the stereotype of people who can’t find time for sex. The question is... how do we get it back?

A: The important thing is that you really do understand the root cause of your partnership’s sexual issues. That is key. Some people will talk all about the problems but be completely oblivious to the reason and then suddenly they’re confronted with this massive revelation. It sounds like the two of you understand what is happening in your lives and recognize what is happening.

Unfortunately, for you two, that might be the easy part of this process. The actual work and journey might be much more challenging.

I’m going to presume something here that you didn’t state. My guess is that you can’t find the time when you are actually awake and able and interested in sex. Taking on new working responsibilities while at the same time balancing family details can be extremely hard on our bodies. Even if your job is strictly at a desk and not digging ditches, stress can manifest in soreness, aches, tiredness and even pain. If the two of you are doing your jobs and then spending time with your kids and then waiting until all of that is done to then consider sexytimes, then it is no wonder you aren’t up for shenanigans these days. A pillow sounds more inviting than pillow talk at the end of a hard day.

The most common advice for people in your situation is to make sure you plan couple time, to set things up for date night on occasion. I’m going to suggest something a little more radical that may or may not be possible with your work schedules.

Don’t plan a date night, plan a lunchtime fuck.

If your workplaces are close enough and there is a motel somewhere in the vicinity, make sure you can both get out at a specific time and meet up once a week for a little afternoon delight. Or forget the delight, get together and fuck like mad!

It doesn’t sound like the two of you are suffering a lack of care or intimacy. It sounds like you both want to get laid and you want that sex to be hot. Motel sex is great for this. Getting out of the office is great for this. The clandestine nature of such fun is great for this.

If it can work, give this a try. And then head back to work and, eventually, home with big smiles on your faces.

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

No comments yet for "Q&A: We Can't Find Time For Sex!" – Be the first!

Sorry, only members can leave a comment. Sign in or Create an Account now.

Get $10 off your order!

Plus be the first to hear about latest products and exclusive offers.