I have to start this post off with a disclaimer: yes, an orgasm is great, but it is not the be all and end all of sex. Well, the end all part might be true, depending who you are, but it really doesn’t need to be. Hot sex is hot whether you orgasm or not. Consider it more of an icing on the cake (no pun intended, okay maybe a little).
That said, many of us are looking for ways to improve our orgasm potential, particularly our friends with vulvas. It is true, people with vulvas don’t have it as easy as people with penises when it comes to getting those rocks off. That said, I don’t want to discount anyone who might be having some issues, So these tips are meant for everyone who feels they might help.
Check out these hot tips for improving for chances of having an orgasm.
A really fulfilling talk before sex can be some of the best foreplay you’ll ever experience. Of course, there is something undeniably hot about picking someone up and barely sharing words at all, but that is more of an in-the-moment situation. For those who are in relationships, or even just starting one, a robust conversation that heightens emotions and mood can get everyone’s endorphins flowing. Maybe you debate something political or share the latest and greatest bad Dad jokes, a back and forth that gets you stimulated can often translate into a different kind of stimulation after.
Be comfortable and warm
This is an idea that has really gained traction across the internet, but we’ll build a little on it. One fast and easy way to get more in the mood? Put some warm socks on. Being cold during sex can be a real buzzkill. Now, this doesn’t mean you have to put on a pair of big fuzzies that Granny gave at Christmas. Maybe this is a way to reinvent your sexy clothes collection. And, of course, expand beyond socks! Put on anything you find sexy and warm!
Have common interests
This may seem a no brainer, but it really helps the likelihood of having an orgasm if you’re really into what you’re doing. Unfortunately, this isn’t always possible because we are individual, sexy creatures. Now, if you’re picking up on a fetish site or app, sure, you’re going to find someone who is totally into what you like. However, for many folks, a relationship and love come along before fully realizing fetishes. If you’re lucky, your partner is into helping you enjoy your sexual desires. If they do, you need to make sure you reciprocate in kind to help them achieve their desires as well.
Be a teacher
The best way to help yourself have orgasms during partnered sexual activities is to make sure you are an advocate for your sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, too many people are not taught how to be a partner who centres sexual pleasure on their partner. So, the most effective way to help them help you is to ensure you teach your partner what you like, what you love and what curls your toes. This can be hard. Many of us are not taught a sexual vocabulary to make this happen. We’re shy and we’re told to not talk about sex. Consider incorporating some of this talk into the conversation tip!