Q: Why does everybody have better luck than me on dating sites? Seriously! I have profiles on several different websites and I barely get any messages back. I go through sites and try to make contact but rarely does anybody ever respond. I’m a decent looking guy and profile is a straight-up account of what I am like as a person. I’ve always heard honestly is the best policy and I go for that. But it isn’t doing me any good in the dating department. What can I do to make my profile more attractive?
A: This is a very good question to receive and discuss, as more and more people are using online connection as a way to meet. Some people are looking for company for an hour while others desire company for a lifetime. We all have different needs and the internet can surely help you find exactly what you’re looking for. To ensure the advice here is sound, I found this great and straightforward guide that outlines some of the key points to consider to make your profile pop!
There are two key parts of your profile that need to be addressed: your photo and your description. Both are important in attracting curious eyes online. Even if the app you’re using starts off with just pics, the text you provide will be key to a potential match.
You describe yourself as a “decent-looking guy,” which I am going to take as you being humble. But that doesn’t really matter. When picking your profile pic, find one that incorporates you doing something you love or are passionate about. It could be you enjoying a hobby, participating in a sport or playing with a pet. When you’re doing something that makes you happy, your appearance changes to project that joy and most people are attracted to people who are happy. Goths aside, a doom and gloom visage rarely turns others on.
When it comes to writing something about yourself, it sounds like you’re suffering from a lack of confidence. Try, as best you can, to keep that feeling out of your profile. Discuss that issue with your friends, a therapist or your mum. Confidence, particularly sexual confidence, is one of the most attracting qualities people look for. Humour is a great way to add a little zing to your profile, but try to avoid too much deprecating humour. Sure, we should all be able to laugh at ourselves, but a profile is you on display and at your best.
What it all comes down to is making a profile that reflects the good and hot person you are. Incorporating elements of you, as much as you’re willing to share, will get people interested. Online dating is not as different from in person meeting as people think. It can all come down to first impressions. Try to make yours as positive as possible.
Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.
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