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Moan, Gasp, Scream - The Sounds Of Sex

Moan, Gasp, Scream - The Sounds Of Sex

Everybody has their own sex “style.” This could refer to their choice of positions, if they are into BDSM or fetishes, if they are aggressive or passive, or even if they like it with the lights on or off! Sex comes in so many different flavours—and that can be such a glorious benefit to our days.

Unfortunately, it can also cause some friction in our relationships. How do you reconcile a situation where you want sex in one particular way and your partner doesn’t? And sometimes, doesn’t want it that way ever? We’ve all got boundaries and those need to be respected. Even if respecting that boundary becomes a deal-breaker for the relationship.

One contentious issue many people have to deal with is the sounds of our sex and, more specifically, the sounds we make during sex. Or lack thereof. The situation can definitely go both ways!

What is your sex sound?

So, folks usually fall somewhere on a spectrum when it comes to the noises that come out of them during the heat of the sexytime moment. Some people are completely quiet throughout the experience only to then let out a small moan or gasp at orgasm. That’s one extreme. And the other? Well, those are the screamers and yellers who are also probably quite loud throughout the whole scene. And everyone else? Well, you fall somewhere between the two.

At some point in your life, you’re probably going to have sex with someone who turns you off by being too far to either, or both, ends of that spectrum. But also remember, you will probably turn someone off by that same definition. It is pretty much inevitable.

And here’s the frustrating part: it is really hard to know if the two of you are traipsing into a problematic situation until you’re in the situation. Sure, you can talk with this new, prospective playmate all you want about their sexy sound style, but you probably won’t get a true sense of the sounds they are or aren’t capable of until you’re in the moment together. And then the problems can begin.

Sounds can be sexy too

So far, we’ve focused on the sounds that will turn us off. But don’t forget, sounds can also be an incredible turn-on. The moans, the groans, the dirty talk, the gasps...all of these combine with the other physical actions to paint an entire picture for some folks. On the other hand, quiet sex can also be entrancing. You can focus on the sounds of the bodies moving together in pleasure, the increasing breath rate, the knocking of a bed against the wall. The opportunity to enjoy sound can also be intrinsic to good sex, regardless how you like it.

So, what is the best way to reconcile incompatible sex sounds? Well, make more sound by talking about it. And as you discuss the situation, know full-well that this might be a situation in which there are no winners. For some folks, their sex sounds are hardwired. Asking them to turn them off might prove impossible. Sure, it is great when people can come to an understanding that works for both of them. But sometimes, this isn’t the case and you need to decide if the sounds are an acceptable compromise.

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

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