Live Your Best Sex Life >

Live Your Best Sex Life >

How to Introduce Bondage Into Your Relationship

Every generation has its own sexual awakening and renaissance, that cultural shift that marks a significant progression of sexual awareness and thought - and more often than not, action. These movements can be for both the positive and the negative, but usually our new understandings bring with them both enlightenment and enjoyment.

bondage coupleWithout a doubt, one of the most significant sexual moments of the 21st century came with the publication of 50 Shades of Grey. Whether you enjoy it, agree with it or even read it, it is undeniable that it (and its sequels) opened many people’s eyes to a new world of sexual pleasure and life. Some folks would have already been curious about BDSM, but others might never have even heard of this varied and evolving sexual world.

As E.L. James’ novel became more popular, more people began to explore Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism - and became more and more curious about it. Be sure to check out our descriptions of BDSM meanings and practices elsewhere on the site to better understand what got everybody all hot and bothered.

As curiosity grew, so did the conversations around BDSM as it began to seep into everyday conversation. On the bus, the street, around the watercooler and in bedrooms the world over. And this is where the many intricate details of this fascinating sexual culture became more than just a conversation for many people. However, it isn’t always easy to introduce a new sexual idea to your partner - particularly something that involves practices and ideas that are fairly foreign to the sex most of us have been taught and grown up with.

BDSM can involve pain, humiliation, bondage, denial and more. These are challenging ideas for many people, some they would never connect with sexual pleasure. However, these and many more BDSM practices can be amazing and exquisite - many of which can be enjoyed in both light and heavy forms.

These thoughts must all be remembered if you wish to introduce these ideas into your and your partner’s sex life. Here are some tips that might help make this delicate topic easier to discuss with your partner.

There shouldn't be any surprises

As with every form of sexual activity, it is paramount that you do not ever surprise your partner with some form of BDSM. Consent is the key word here and it must be clear in every encounter. Suddenly spanking, slapping or restricting your partner’s movement out of the blue can be both dangerous and frightening. Trust can be lost and people can get hurt. And this is why it is so important you ask and respect your partner’s boundaries and limits.

Communication is key

Respecting consent doesn’t mean you can’t be spontaneous. If you think of something hot, ask if your partner is into it! That’s the key: ask, talk and communicate. Ideally, to avoid any heat of the moment agreements or coercion, it is best to layout BDSM scenes in advance. That conversation will not only be greatly helpful but also hot and sexy. These talks are when you share your fantasies, experiences and expectations. And your partner can do the same.

Join discussion groups

If you’d like to explore BDSM, but are unsure where to start, you and your partner can attend many different discussion groups or “munches.” These gatherings happen in cities all around the world and are intended to bring together both newbies and veterans of the scene. You can ask questions, listen in to conversations and meet people with experience. Or, if it is more your comfort level, just hang back and observe.

Learn from books, videos and more

There are many different instructional books and videos out there that can provide you lots of useful tips and techniques on how to enter the BDSM world. Look up amazing instructors such as Lord Morpheous, Princess Kali, Midori and more to learn all of the ins and outs and tantalizing ouches of this thrilling sexual adventure.

How can I buy BDSM toys?

Would you like to buy your own BDSM toys and explore this fascinating world? If so, just head on over to our bondage and fetish category: Buy BDSM Toys.

Need more help?

Still a little unsure if BDSM is right for you and your partner and need a little help? Just Contact Customer Care and a staff member from the Cherry Banana team will be in touch right away to assist you. Alternatively, you can explore our other bondage and fetish guides here.

You may also like these guides

Get $10 off your order!

Plus be the first to hear about latest products and exclusive offers.