Exploring Sexual Identities: Top, Bottom & Versatile

We all crave markers, signifiers, labels. We might not always like it when other people push those labels on us, but that’s a different story. Today we’re talking about a very specific type of sexual categorization that some folks find very useful in navigating toward the people they really want to be in a relationship with.

Have you ever heard of the three terms Top, Bottom and Versatile? If you’re not gay or don’t practice BDSM, there’s a good chance you haven’t. But in both of these worlds, these three labels carry a lot of significance.

Before we get into the meanings, take this ridiculous test to determine where you fall among the three. Don’t worry if you don’t know what your result means, you will soon. One last note that must be made. I’m going to refer to Top, Bottom and Versatile mainly in reference to men who have sex with men and people who are into BDSM. This is not to say that straight folks, vanilla folks, women who have sex with women and every other person in the wide umbrella of sexual identification cannot identify with these terms. Of course they can, and that is awesome! However, for sake of ease and not writing a full book on the subject, I’m not trying to alienate anyone, I’m just going with the most mainstream depictions.

So, let’s check out the terms!

Top

A Top is someone who, predominantly, assumes the position of giver of action. That’s a pretty clunky phrase, so let’s break it down into what it could mean for both MSM and BDSM folks. For the fellas, the top would be the guy who penetrates the other guy, whether that be orally or anally. On the BDSM side, the top is the person (regardless of gender) who takes the Dominant, Dom, Master or Mistress role. If you are into spanking, the top is the one smacking the ass.

Bottom

As the converse to the Top, the bottom is the person who is the receiver of the action. So, in sticking with the same relationship configurations, in an MSM context, the Bottom is the guy who is penetrated, orally or anally. And on the BDSM side, the Bottom is the person also known as the sub or slave, the person who receives the action of the Top. The Bottom is going to have the glowing red ass cheeks.

Versatile

Simply put, the Versatile partner, or Vers, is someone who is interested in and can play either of the roles. They can Top and fuck an ass or they can Bottom and receive a spectacular flogging. The term Switch is also used for Versatile, though it is more often used in the BDSM scene.

Some folks embody these labels in both their sexual lives and their personal lives. Other people tend to keep them specifically in the bedroom. While it may seem a bit forward when first meeting someone new, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get this personal distinction clear right in the beginning. Not to say two Tops can’t work it out, or two Bottoms...but it is something to consider.