Many people believe great sex should always begin with a kiss. Why then are so many people a little deficient in this simple skill?
Because it isn’t a simple skill!
Is a kiss just a kiss?
Kissing is something for which we all have a unique style and technique. Some people are light peckers and others are sloppy open-mouthers. Whether you’re soft and gentle or rough and tumble, how you kiss can both dictate and be dictated by the sexytimes you’re hoping to have!
Keys to great liplocks
One of the keys to kissing that some folks just can’t seem to wrap their lips around is that kissing is as dependent on communication as the rest of sex is. I mean, you’re using your mouth in a different way, but still, for both people to really enjoy a kiss, you both need to be mindful of how your partner likes to be kissed. If you’re both into lots of tongue, great! But if one of you really isn’t into tonsil hockey, then you need to find a happy medium. Perhaps your tongues can meet outside the mouth. There are always options to ensure both partner’s needs can be met.
Another key to great liplocks is the great big elephant in your mouth: bad breath. Nothing can defuse a sexy time faster than one person having unpleasant smelling and tasting breath. Everybody’s been in the position of leaning in to suck some face only to wilt under a nasty stench. Whether or not you stick it out and continue is up to you. Some might be so inflamed with passion that it just doesn’t matter. Or maybe you just don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings. It can all depend on just how severe the smell is.
But remember, for every time it has happened to you, you’ve probably also done it to someone else. Bad breath is one of those inevitable things that happens to everyone on occasion. Some of the best foods we love are bound to cause it! So, a sense of compassion for a partner who isn’t at their freshest is a nice way to go. Or, if you must, politely decline and explain why. Sometimes we don’t know when our breath is bad! And it can be remedied. However, in some instances bad breath can be chronic and that can be a result of poor dental hygiene or diet. Again, be mindful of your partner’s feelings, but at the same time, it is good to discuss it.
Memorable kisses
All of that said, when a kiss has all of the positive aspects in place, it can be a mindblowing experience—possibly even better than sex itself! Some refer to sex an entirely intimate, but kissing is a completely different type of closeness. As you move in, feel the light brush of breath on your cheek and feel that first moist sensation, you know that this moment is one of passion, lust, and even love. And as the sparks fly, open your eyes and see the same feelings in your partner’s eyes. Because no kiss feels better than one that is wrapped in a smile.
Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.
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