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How To Increase Your Sexual Confidence

How To Increase Your Sexual Confidence

I have always admired and been amazed by those just seem to exude sexual confidence. You see these folks everywhere. They’re able to mingle and chat, put people at ease or create a delicious tension. Sexually confident people never have trouble meeting new people, picking up and then, if it suits their fancy, moving on. But not even in a bad, jerkish way. They even end things right. How do they do it?

Confidence attracts

Being sexually confident is very similar to being generally confident, but not entirely the same. If you have an outgoing, receptive personality most of the time, you’re more likely to also be sexually confident. But not necessarily. Some outwardly cool and steady folks just aren’t as confident in the bedroom because most of us are a little different when we get into a sexual situation. At the same time, some of the most quiet folks can be absolute sexy beasts once you get them alone and out of the public sphere. So, there must be a bridge between these two, right?

Yes and no. Sure, in either respect, it would make sense to try and adopt the good qualities of each personality to meld together an amazing confidence monolith. Being able to bring some of those charming and friendly traits to a shy person would do nothing but boost their ability to meet people and if an outgoing person could learn the ways of the quiet sex machine, they’d definitely get more out of their bedroom exploits.

So, what are some of the traits of each personality we can look to?

Open up

If you’d like to improve your outward sexual confidence, learn to open up when speaking with others. Laugh a lot. Tell jokes. But at the same time, be sure to listen and respond when others talk with care and consideration. People who are outwardly sexually confident make an impression by being both someone people want to listen to and someone people want to talk to. This doesn’t mean being the life of the party or being everybody’s therapist. It just means having good, honest, considerate conversations that strike a chord in others.

On the other hand, the main thing we can learn from the quiet types is how to observe and learn about people without talking. Quiet types, who can usually be found leaning against bookshelves at parties or playing with the hosts dog aren’t disassociating from the crowd, they are observing. Shy folks are always learning about the people they wish to talk to before they ever actually begin a conversation. This ability to pick up nuance and body language can be significantly beneficial when you do manage some one-on-one time with someone you fancy.

Get your flirt on

The one key element to balancing both personalities is learning how to flirt. For many people this comes naturally, but for others, it is something that needs to be learned. Fortunately, there are many sexy folks who are now teaching workshops and writing books on how to flirt with the people you’re interested in. Remember, flirting can be both verbal and non-verbal - and it can be great to learn both.

Sexual confidence is not an easy thing to always maintain, especially when you’re on the dating scene and sometimes things aren’t going to go your way. But the thing to remember is that if you feel good in yourself and treat others with respect, you’ll always have reason to feel good.

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

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