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How Do I Love Thee? Let's Count The Multiple Ways

How Do I Love Thee? Let's Count The Multiple Ways

There seems to be two extremes when talking about orgasms: we’re either trying to figure out how to help folks have one...or we’re trying to ensure they have many! There’s a far way to go between ensuring we enjoy sexual pleasure and coming and being able to experience that sensation over and over again. But it can be done, for both women and men.

The different orgasm potential afforded to men and women is quite fascinating. In general, men are much more likely to reach orgasm during intercourse than women are. However, for most men, it is a one-and-done situation. Once guys ejaculate, their body often parks in what is called the refractory period and they can’t even get an erection for a period of time. That length of time can depend on many things, with one big factor being age.

What exactly is an orgasm?

One question that comes up when it comes to men and multiple orgasms is what a male orgasm actually is. Most of us are taught that orgasm and ejaculation are one in the same and that blowing a load is the height of orgasm for guys. However, the two are not necessarily linked and can be separated. It is possible to experience the pleasure of orgasm without ejaculating and this could be key for men in moving from one orgasm per sexual session to multiple.

Women, on the other hand, are far less likely to achieve orgasms through intercourse, but rather they rely on other types of stimulation—before, during and possibly after—to experience orgasm. Due to ridiculous social standards, women aren’t always provided with enough stimulation, so many do not reach orgasm at all. In fact, orgasm is a really difficult topic and situation for many women.

However, if a woman does have a good sexual situation going on, one that includes both physical and psychological comfort, then she has the potential to not just orgasm, but to experience multiple orgasms! There are different ways to experience multiple orgasms—sometimes they come rapidly, sometimes you build up to a second, then a third, and so on. It is because women’s vaginal tissues are engorged and swollen and much more sensitive from their first orgasm that further orgasms are easier to achieve.

How can we all have multiple orgasms?

So, how do folks, men and women, go about having multiple orgasms and wear their beds out on the regular? There are numerous articles in magazines and online that offer up different tips, however, some ideas are universal between these sources. Some of the keys to multiple orgasm are being relaxed (which helps all sex), taking things slow and periodically slowing things down and practicing—chances are you’re not going to reach this goal the first time you try it.

One last thing to keep in mind: if you or your partner cannot achieve multiple orgasms, it is not any indication or failing on either of your part. These recommendations are good for any and all sex you’re having, and if they then result in multiple orgasms, all the better!

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

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