For many people, it is hard to move past the nuts and bolts of sex. You’ve gotten into a relationship, you’re both wildly passionate... but it is easy, after a while, to fall into a rut of sexual monotony. Same positions, same locations, same old, same old.
One of the easiest, but most underestimated ways to break out of a bedroom slump is to bring some dirty talk into your sex life. If you’re not already expressing your vavavoom vocally, remember, you can use your mouth in other ways! Dirty talk can be many different things to different people. Some want romantic, loving and thoughtful. Others want filthy, nasty and raunchy. And, of course, there are those who want everything in between!
1. Talk about it with your partner first
Before you jump in with your saucy sex talk, this is definitely one to bring up with your partner first. Some people really do not like dirty talk at all. And that’s okay, surely you will find another way to keep things spicy. But, if your partner is open to the idea, then you should discuss boundaries and what types of language is preferred and when it should happen. Some words can carry very negative connotations for folks, and busting them out while you’re in the middle of intimate times can be a very distinct mood killer.
As noted, there are different types of dirty talk. Sweet, romantic musings will have you dedicating odes to the beauty of your partner’s luscious breasts or perfect penis. On the other hand, more raunchy talk will probably focus more on throbbing cocks and spankable asses. There are so many variations on what types of language you can use!
2. Use words in a non-sexual setting first
If you or your partner are unsure, try using words in a non-sexual setting. You can try sexting the words you find intriguing, at first. For many people, revealing their sexy desires is easier in words than it is in person. Or, have a good laugh around the dinner table trying out different words for different body parts and actions. Maybe fucking really does it for you, but boning is a complete turn-off. Maybe cock is preferred over dick. Maybe pussy is hotter than vulva. You’ll feel much more comfortable with these words if you can say them in a casual conversation without breaking out laughing.
3. Remember that it's okay to laugh
Once you feel ready to bring all of your favourite new vocab into your sexytimes, be prepared to experience the sillies all over again. As much as you prepare, the first time you say “Oh yeah, suck that dick” you just might burst out in laughter. Or your partner might - hopefully not with that dick in their mouth! But don’t worry, this is a good thing! Keeping humility and humour in the bedroom is one of the best ways to stay connected to each other. Remember, sex isn’t all serious grunting and groaning - sex is and is supposed to be fun! The more you laugh together, the more you’re going to experiment... and the more you’re going to enjoy hot and sexy orgasms!