Picture this: A romantic scene. Two lovers embrace. He grasps her hips firmly, pulling her close. She throws her arms around his shoulders. They gaze directly into each other’s eyes as their bodies come closer. He pulls those hips to meet his, pulls their sex directly. She leans forward, wanting, and touches his lips with hers, their bodies entwined and expecting more…
Okay, besides being some pretty cheesy heterosexual erotica, what did you notice about this passage? Does it reflect how you and your lover interact sexually? There’s a good chance it doesn’t.
One key element in this fiction is that these two people are of comparable height. They can grind their loins and look in each other’s eyes as they kiss. In real life, there aren’t that many folks who can find sexytime friends who measure up in such a perfect way. For those in the 5’5” to 5’8” height range, yes, you’re more likely to partner up with someone of your general stature and this type of scenario can potentially play out.
And then there’s everyone else, which means, chances are, you’re likely going to hook up with someone who is significantly taller or shorter than you at some point. And this can be awkward, both physically and emotionally. Societally, we have weird perceptions about heights. Dudes are supposed to be taller and women shorter. But when the variance is more then a few inches, things get tricky. As well, women who are taller are somehow less sexy and men who are shorter are, someone, err...looked down upon.
Here are some tips for having great sex when people of different heights!
1. Keep an open mind
It is easy to say we should ignore the odd social expectations about height because, hey, people can be jerks. But if you keep an open mind about how you’re going to have sexytime fun with your short or tall lover, you’re going to do just fine. The thing is, no matter how hard you try, some sex positions aren’t going to work, but some will be fantastic. Learn to laugh at the things you try that just end up being ridiculous, while at the same time giving each other high fives when something goes really well.
2. Get creative with pillows
Cushions and pillows are going to be you best friend. To avoid wild body contortions and possible pulled muscles or sore necks, try adding a variety of firm and soft pillows to the mix. This can especially help when a woman is receiving on her back. Pillows can be used in bed, on the floor for a bit of extra, padded height or on chairs. Possibly consider picking a sexy wedge cushion.
3. Horizontal can be a great equalizer
When two people are of differing heights, standing sex positions are the most difficult. Even something like doggie style might be a challenge. However, horizontal sex positions take away the height issues. Foreplay-type activities shouldn’t be a problem (oral, handjobs, massage) and many positions can be accentuated by one partner being taller, such as spooning.
4. Work those groin muscles
If you’re the taller of the two, you might be spreading your legs more to balance out height differences. Remember to stretch out your groin muscles to avoid an unpleasant pull mid-sex.