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There Are Far Better Ways To Pump Your Iron

There Are Far Better Ways To Pump Your Iron

Okay, let’s set the scene. You’re at the gym, working out. You’re getting sweaty and pumped up. There’s a whole lot of testosterone floating in the air. Things are getting pretty physical and you’re feeling good.

So you stick your dick in a weight.

The first part of that scene is something people participate in every day. Working toward physical fitness is a great goal. In fact, getting healthy is a great way to actually have better sex.

But not with a weight.

We really don’t know what inspired this fellow in Germany. Was he so overcome with sudden horniness that he thought, “Nobody is going to see me pumping this iron, heh heh…”

Better options

Or is this more endemic of a larger problem: men just don’t understand the various options available to them when they want to masturbate. Yes, I know that sounds a bit odd. Yes, we all think guys’ hands are pretty much fused to their cocks from the age of 12. And sure, the five knuckle shuffle is a pretty reliable way to get off. But who doesn’t like some variety in their solo sex life?

The thing is, guys have to understand that they can’t just stick their dicks in any inanimate object and try to fuck it. Unfortunately, there’s a bit of basic physiology that many men do not understand and is a clear indication that our current sex education is not working.

When this fella put his penis in the weight, there’s a good chance he wasn’t as absolutely hard as he could be. So, then when he started pumping that weight up and down, he likely became more engorged. That’s more blood in the vessels in his dick. So it gets bigger. With the weight still around his penis, it might feel good for a bit, feeling a bit tighter. But what is happening is the blood is being trapped in his cock. And because the weight is not stuck and constricting more, that weight ain’t going anywhere.

And that’s how you end up sedated, surrounded by firemen with big tools grinding and cutting right near your penis.

Better option in this situation: go to the change room and rub one out. OR go to the change room and hook-up. OR go anywhere else to play with yourself or someone.

OR enjoy any of the greatly improve male masturbating sex toys that are on the market today.

Improved sex toys

Sex toys for men have been pretty crappy in the past, but that isn’t the case anymore. And they are much more appealing than a weight (unless that is your fetish...in which case be careful!). There are many different types of masturbation sleeves and pumping toys that will blow your mind and your load. Many of the higher end products can even connect online to play with people with their own toys or stroke along with your favourite porn.

We’re definitely living in the brave new world of penis pleasure, guys. There are so many options to try and enjoy that we can definitely move away from fucking weights.

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

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