Q&A: Should I Shave For Him?

Q: I really don’t know what to do. I am 19 and in my first serious relationship. Greg is such a wonderful guy, so sweet and caring. He was the first person I have ever wanted to be intimate with. I hadn’t even shown anyone else my naked body before. Unfortunately, that is where the problem began. I was raised in a very natural home with hippie parents. I also believe in their ways, but I did change one thing when I got into high school: I started shaving my legs and armpits. I don’t like it but I cannot handle the stares. I didn’t know that the looks I got from Greg would be worse. When we decided the time was right for our first time, his mouth literally hung open when he saw my pubic hair. He stuttered and stammered and scrunched up his nose. We both went through with it but neither of us were happy. I was devastated, actually. We talked about it afterward, he said he was shocked to see so much hair. He had never been with someone so hairy and was kinda disgusted. I felt very shamed. Then he asked me to shave it off. So that’s my question: Should I shave off my public hair for my boyfriend?

A: Whenever I receive questions about body image and what people should do with their bodies, I will always say “it is your body to do with what you want.” This is your decision alone. However, since you did ask, here is my opinion: Fuck Greg. Not in the sexy way, in the kick his bastard ass to the curb way.

Any person who makes you feel such a level of shame about your body at one of the most momentous times of your life is a scumbag. Even if he was shocked and even if he finds pubes distasteful, he had not right in the world to respond like a toddler who has been given carrots instead of chocolate.

Your pubic hair is your business alone. If you decide you want to shave it, go for it--for you. If it makes you feel better, and it can feel great during sex to be bare, then do know there are some risks with shaving down there. Razor burn. Ingrown hair. The terrible itchiness and chafing when your hair starts to grow in. Do you want to put yourself through these potential problems for the sake of some asshole who couldn’t even respect you in a special moment?

If my vitriol hasn’t swayed you, try a little experiment. Tell him you will be happy to take a blade to your bush if he reciprocates. Tell that bastard to clearcut his crotch and shave his sac. The unfortunate reality is that he will probably balk at the suggestion and say only women should shave. This is what far too many men believe. And if he responds this way--to the curb he goes! However, if he agrees to do it.. he just might be redeemable. But be sure he goes first and then reserve the right to change your mind about what you do with your body.