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Would You Check Your Phone During Sex?

Would You Check Your Phone During Sex?

Do you ever get the feeling that you are completely tied to your mobile phone? Can you even remember a time without it? We live in a world that prioritizes the flood of information - be it from media, social media or friends - that has become our lifeline to a new type of connection. And that connection has started to overtake more traditional connections, including sex.

What would you do if your phone went off with a notification just as you were gettin’ busy with your partner? Would you check it? Would you even be tempted? And I’m not talking answering phone calls—that’s another generation’s dilemma. Not that there’s ever been a definitive social protocol for that either though. But in our current day and age, it is notifications that are getting in the way of sexytimes.

Tied to tech

It might be worth questioning whether or not checking notifications during sex is actually a problem or not. Is reading a text or tweet really that disturbing? Would you be offended if someone did that to you? I imagine answers will vary. Some folk really won’t see a little social interaction as being detrimental to sex and their connection to their partner. At the same time, I bet many other folks would be downright pissed off.

And, personally speaking, I think I fall in that boat. Checking notifications immediately takes you out of the situation you are supposedly enjoying. Viewing Facebook posts just cannot be seen as having the same priority level as paying actual attention to your partner. Inadequate attention can be immediately picked up on by your partner and they can immediately feel less important. And that is definitely not a sexy feeling.

So, is it at all possible there’s a compromise in the situation? Should couples just put a ban on bringing devices into the boudoir?

This could be an insurmountable challenge—we have committed that strongly to our relationships with our phones. For some people, even putting them in another room will not provide enough of a break. It might still be hard to fully disconnect, even if you aren’t physically looking at your notifications. Some people just won’t be able to separate themselves from social connection—even when they are getting laid!

Setting boundaries

Here’s something different to try. Instead of allowing carte blanche notification checking, try establishing some ground rules for which ones you can look at, even in the middle of boots-knockin’. Try assigning different ringtones that signify potentially important words that have to be seen. You can even go so far as to assign different ringtones by priority. If there are certain people who text you that you just cannot ignore, give them distinct sounds that you won’t be able to miss—even in the throes of passion. I suppose you could do the same thing with social media, but c’mon folks, Instagram will still be there after you two orgasm.

Really, there is no simple solution that we have created, when it comes to mobile phones interrupting sex. You can’t go anywhere without people being distracted by devices...did we think sex would be any different?

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

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