What Exactly Got Launched In Hawaii?

How would you react to the possibility of impending death? Some people will surely panic, running around in the streets. Others would try to plan and attempt to find some sort of escape. And some folks would just gather their loved ones, hold them close and move on to the next existence with those they care about close by.

Now, depending which of those scenarios might determined your next course of action. If you were informed of impending death but then an “Ooops, we were wrong” message comes out and, in fact, you and all of your loved ones are going to be used fine...what would you do at that point?

Rejoice? Celebrate? Put on clean pants?

Well, some folks chose just such a moment to partake in the most simple of pleasures: masturbation.

Emergency ejaculation?

Recently, the citizens of Hawaii were given the scare of their lives when a missile launch warning was broadcast across the state. It warned that missiles had been launched and were headed to the islands. Of course, people were extremely afraid and panicked and did what they had to do to try and survive. Fortunately, the message was sent in error, a malfunction that caused a lot of people undue fear. But, they were all still alive.

Now, some curious information has come out of surrounding the incident—from an unlikely source. Porn giant PornHub has released site viewer statistics of the time of the missile alert that show a massive drop in users when the warning message was sent. This is not surprising, people were fleeing to secured locations. Porn takes a backseat to personal survival.

But when the all-clear came, now, that’s a different story.

So, the panic is called off and everyone comes out of their basements or returns home. Calm starts to descend across the islands. People take a collective sigh of relief, but their hearts are probably still beating hard in their chests and adrenaline just isn’t going to away that fast.

Back to porn.

Looking at sex stats

These PornHub charts are fascinating. The alert is cancelled, there’s a few minutes of people getting back to their lives and then a big surge in viewers flocking to PornHub. Is this just a regular Saturday morning occurrence? I don’t think so.

The people of Hawaii were put through and extremely challenging crisis situation. Despite the positive outcome of the situation, this was surely ultra-stressful and uncomfortable for many. So, a good number of folks took refuse and solace in the simple, easy and extremely relaxing pleasure of masturbation.

Sex negative types will tell you that masturbation is something to be controlled or denied all together. They’ll have us believe that it leads to overactive sexual people who then engage in other, dangerous sexual activities.

But I don’t know how anyone can believe this. Masturbation is, simply, the easiest way for us to make ourselves feel better. Sure it is sexy as hell and the sexual pleasure we get is awesome! But it is also comforting when we don’t feel well. And relaxing when we are stressed. Masturbation is great for our mental and physical health.

Isn’t that right, Hawaii?