Q & A: Finding A Threesome At Pride?

Q: My wife and I love to celebrate Pride with all of our LGBT friends. We’ve known a bunch of them forever and have really incorporated Pride parties into our year. The parties are amazing! So much dancing and fun. Last year, she and I were both a pretty drunk and Mary asked if I’d ever like to sleep with a man. I didn’t know how to react in the moment, but we have revisited the conversation numerous times over the past year. After some thought, I did come to realize that, yes, I would like to have sex with a guy, and Mary confessed how hot she through that could be. So, here we are with Pride parties approaching again, and we are wondering what the best way is for a curious couple to pick up a curious dude at Pride?

A: Pride and the many parties that come along with it are a sacred time for the queer community. It is an opportunity to remind ourselves of the historical challenges and the continuing struggles everybody under the LGBTQ umbrella have experienced throughout their lives. It is both remembrance and celebration and a reminder of oppression that we want so badly to eradicate.

So, before we get into the nitty gritty here, let me first remind you that you, a straight couple with curious feelings, are treading on very delicate ground here. Dropping into a community to look for sexual kicks can be perceived, by some as everything from insensitive to inappropriate. As you head out on your quest to find a third for fun, just be aware that you may be rebuffed in some pretty strong ways—and that person might have some pretty legit beef. Now, you do state that you are connected to the community through your friends and that might help, but just please be aware that you are still tourists and sometimes, the locals don’t want to be seen as an amusement park.

Okay, all of that said, let’s concentrate on the matter at hand—getting you to some dick! Just as there might be some folks who bristle at your interest in exploring, others will absolutely welcome the idea that you’re expa

nding your sexuality. Whether this is a one-time thing or something that is part of you is absolutely valid. Let’s see how we can make this journey to Cockerland an amazing experience.

In the past, going out to Pride events was definitely more about going to Gay or Lesbian events. As allies you’d be welcome, but there was definitely less fluidity. Now, with more and more Bisexual representation, as well as Pansexual folks and many other variations on gender and sexual fluidity, you are more likely to be out dancing with people of many different types of orientation. This bodes well for your ability to connect with the man of your dreams (or at least one night).

Depending on how big of a Pride event you plan to attend, there could be lots of different dances and parties to go to. Look for events that speak to as wide a variety of people as possible. For instance, a Leather Bear event might not be the best place for Mary to help you get some notice. Just as a Butch/Femme dance party likely won’t offer up much penis for you to explore. Ideally, there is a specific Bi or Pansexual party because that’s the party you need!

Once there, mingle and make friends. Do everything you would normally do at an event if you’re trying to pick up. However, it is important that you make sure people are aware that the two of you are trying to find a third. This doesn’t mean that you dance together and then surround some unwitting dude. You’ve got to be smoother than that!

The onus is really going to be on your to make this happen and make sure everybody is comfortable. You have to attract a fella who is aware that he’s being propositioned by a man and his wife. As you meet people, have Mary close by or with you. As you talk, make it obvious that the two of you are together, but don’t throw it right out there. I mean, you can try “We’re married and we’re looking to suck dick together.” That might work, but it might also turn dudes right off. The goal is to incorporate a new friend into your social sphere is a non-aggressive way to see if he clicks with both of you.

Once you’re all talking, touch her in a friendly way, and touch him in a friendly way. You can establish a level of equality beforehand. Setting this up will make the opportunity, and the knowledge that you and Mary are a couple, more appealing. Everyone should feel, going into some sexy shenanigans, that they are an equal partner in fun. At the same time, he will understand your parameters, the more you talk. And you can all see what happens from there!