No Ducking These Animal Facts

What the duck! There are many problems with our current sexual climate. Consent, sexual assault, predatory behaviour, coercion, toxic masculinity... the list, sadly, goes on and on and on. And somehow we think we so very evolved from our animal cousins. But have you heard about some of the mating habits of ducks?

Yes, ducks, the quackers. A generally adorable animal that has been made into cartoons and is thought to be fairly lovable. And some duck species do have those traits. But then there are others who pretty much embody all of the negative traits of human sexual culture.

And on top of that, they have giant cocks!

Unpleasant penis power

No, I’m not mixing species up. Some ducks have, relative to their body size, significantly-sized penises. Not many birds even have penises, but ducks do and they’re swinging them around like you wouldn’t believe. Because some aren’t so much into romance and pair-bonding, like their cousins. Some, like the Ruddy Duck are out and out rapists! When the males choose to mate, the dominant members force themselves on the females of their flock.

But here’s where evolution comes into play. The female Ruddy Ducks do not like this behaviour. There is not much they can do when the dominant male tries to have his way, but their bodies have developed a complex vagina that can, at least, render his attempts to impregnate her unsuccessful.

We often think of animal procreation as just something that happens, but, evidently, there are much more complex situations happening out there that can inform what we experience in human life. Well, we can learn from animals, but rarely do we want to emulate them. And if we look more into ducks and their penises, we’ll see why.

Bigger cock = Bigger man?

There is just something about penises that all animals seem to have issues with. The biggest misperception is that having a bigger dick somehow determines how good of a man you are. As much as we try to combat this in human life, it remains a pervasive belief and men are still trying to figure out ways to make their cocks bigger and, supposedly, better. In humans, however, there has never been a link proven that demonstrates having a big penis will make you more successful/stronger/a better lover/more likely to impregnate.

Ducks, on the other hand, have these obscenely long penises. They are a sight to behold. But they have a very distinct purpose, something that humans have long evolved past. These fucking ducks are all about sperm competition. They are out there on the pond trying to be dominant and to ensure that their duck juice gets into as many female ducks as possible. So, the ducks with the longer penis, that can more deeply navigate the complex duck vaginas, are more likely to continue their bloodline than the lesser endowed quackers. They can, literally, push past the sperm of ducks with shorter cocks.

This dominance goes beyond deposit semen, as well. Dominant male ducks, through intimidation and violence, can actually delay the maturation of others in the flock. The more delayed they are, the longer it takes their penises to grow as big. If this were the case in human society, there would be chaos.