Autoerotic Asphyxiation: Things You Should Know

There is an oft-told joke that people who particularly enjoy sex will probably want to go out coming. And by go out, we mean die, and by coming, we mean having an orgasm. Really, how is it possible to argue with this kind of logic? It does sound like a pretty ideal way to end your time on this plane of existence. But, the thing is, that is mostly just silly, fantasy talk. I imagine that few people actually feel that way, or even think about how they ideally want to die at all.

But here’s the thing: some people actually do die during sex. It is a real and kind of scary possibility. But they’re not doing it as a “I’m wanting to end my life, here’s how I’m doing it.” No...sometimes people die by what is more often called “misadventure.” And that usually means attempting a dangerous activity during sex or, more often, masturbation, that leads to an unanticipated demise.

Autoerotic Asphyxiation

Perhaps the most well-known dangerous sex act that can cause injury or death is autoerotica asphyxiation. In this activity, the goal is to restrict the flow of oxygen to the brain by restricting breathing. The most usual method to do this is through strangling. That reduced oxygen heightens arousal significantly. During the period where oxygen is restricted, you can masturbate or receive pleasure from another person to achieve previously unexplored sexual heights.

That is all good and sounds like an amazing sensation, however, you are cutting off oxygen flow to your body. When you don’t breath, you can die. It is a very simple proposition that exposed just how risky this behaviour can be. Let’s just repeat: when playing with autoerotic asphyxiation, you can might end up dying trying for an orgasm.

The Temptation

It is always very tempting to want to try something new, to explore new fantasies, especially when it comes to sex. And there are ways to explore breath play safely (well, as safely as suffocation can be). The first is to take the auto out of the scene. If you want to play with oxygen flow, do it with a partner or friend. Have someone with you who is either there to just watch and observe so that you don’t get yourself into dangerous trouble. Maybe you find another enthusiast and you can take turns observing for each other. Or play with a partner. They can be involved with the scene as long as they aren’t too involved as to not be paying attention and watching for warning signs of trouble. This fun can be had, but it needs to be had sanely.

The first time I ever heard of autoerotic asphyxiation was back in the 1990s. I was just getting out there into the world of sex and trying many things with many people. But then we got the news. One of my favourite rock stars, Michael Hutchence of the band INXS has been found dead. And reports began to surface that he was found with a belt around his neck, possibly in a position of self-pleasure. Having recently picked up some INXS on vinyl, I remembered back and while I want people to get out and have the best sex lives they can...I hope you can also remember to do it safely.