Q&A: Should I Have Sex With My Girlfriend On Her Period?

Q: "My partner and I have a long-running issue between us that comes up every single month: her period. She is very comfortable with her body and what she does with it. She has told me over and over that she would love to have sex with me while she is menstruating. She actually says she really likes it after the cramps have subsided. I’ve always been uncomfortable with the idea, thinking she is just trying to please my overactive libido. Is there any reason why we shouldn’t have sex on her period or am I being unreasonable?"

A: There is a simple answer to this question and a longer one. Let’s start with the simple answer: no, you are not being unreasonable. If you do not want to have sex with your partner while she is menstruating, then you definitely do not have to. Nobody should ever be coerced or manipulated into having any kind of sex. If she really desires this during her period, direct her to vibrators and dildos!

That said, here’s the longer answer: if you don’t want to because you’re not interested, that’s fine. But if you are amenable to changing your mind, then be assured that there is no good reason to not have period sex. In fact, your partner is right, many women do find period sex extremely pleasurable.

For most men, the biggest challenge to get past is the ick factor. It is blood - a specific type of blood, no less - and it can get messy. All over you, all over her, depending on the timing of her cycle. But this is just a natural part of your partner’s body. It happens. Interestingly, there are probably more guys willing to try anal where a whole different substance can be encountered... but you don’t see them complaining. What a weird double standard.

Maybe now you’re reconsidering. Great! Here are some tips for both you and your partner to ease your way into period sex:

• It is all about preparation. Lay a towel on the bed in case there is flow. Keep some adult wipes on the bedside table for after sex clean up.
• Consider gettin’ sexy in the shower. Quick and easy clean up there.
• Maybe you want to start slow instead of jumping right into intercourse. Try fingering her first, feeling how her body reacts and working your way up to full-on penetration.
• Remember that you still need to use barrier protection if you aren’t fluid bonded.

Consider period sex to be one of those experiences that creates true intimacy. With the way society treats menstruation (a whole lot of shame), you can take this as an opportunity to tell your partner that you respect every single part of her. Everything her body does. This can be an opportunity to show her that you want to acknowledge and understand the process her body goes through. This compassion and understanding will go a long way to creating a true bond between the two of you.

Plus, let’s not forget that she’s told you she likes it. She’s told you it turns her on. This is great sexual communication and looks like an invitation to further discussion and potentially great sexual moments. Maybe you’ll reconsider.