Sale - Up to 70% off

Sale - Up to 70% off

Achieving Intimacy Without Orgasm

Achieving Intimacy Without Orgasm

What you do imagine to be the perfect sexual experience? In your wildest fantasies, how do you think sex is supposed to “happen?”

For most people, the most basic answer is something along the lines of a) Foreplay, b) Main events, c) Orgasm. That is a very general description, but if you follow the depictions created by mainstream (movies, television) and alternative (porn) media, this is the predominant version of sexytime events.

And let’s not kid ourselves. For some folks, this type of play gets a standing ovation more often than it doesn’t. If that’s the case for you, great! Keep it up and keep on having fun.

That said, for some folks, this kind of sequential sex doesn’t really work. This process, particularly for heterosexual couples, centres pleasure all around the male sexual experience. There aren’t many men who can come back for more and, sadly, men have learned the stereotype of rolling over and falling asleep too well. So, FMO sex can be unsatisfying for women.

What can we do about this? How can we mix things up to ensure sexual pleasure while at the same time rewriting the hackneyed script of sex?

No Orgasms?

We are really damn lucky to have the bodies that we have. We have been blessed with countless pleasure points and hot spots that we can get tremendous satisfaction just through touching, licking, nibbling, rubbing and more. When you have sex, do you explore your partner’s body? Do you take time to touch different parts and areas? Does your partner tell you things they really enjoy? Maintaining a sense of sexual treasure hunt will keep you both excited and wanting. And if you can get there, try staying there on occasion. Enjoy ever part of each other’s bodies except the bits that cause orgasm. Not only might you find new and enjoyable sensations, but this kind of chosen withdrawal will keep a sense of sexual excitement stirring in your pants for the next time you do get all of your bits touched.

Laugh Alot!

Two of our greatest pleasures in life are sex and the ability to laugh. Both of these stimuli bring us tremendous pleasure, yet they are rarely combined. And I’m not talking about laughing AT your partner, that just isn’t nice. But sex could become so much experimental and non-orgasm focused if we joked around some or even played some games. There are many different card and board games that are specifically designed for couples to be exploratory and experimental. And others are just meant to be fun. If you spend your time having fun and exploring, the night will be much less focussed on orgasm—or you might even get directions to help your partner orgams way out of sequence!

Bust The Regular Order

Speaking of the sequence, let’s just get Hollywood and porn out of our minds. If you want to switch things up, talk about it with your partner. If you find that he is getting his rocks off and then that’s the end of things, tell him that you’d like to change things. Maybe she can orgasm first before any kind of intercourse. Maybe this well mean stopping intercourse and both of you climaxing from oral sex. Maybe he stops and takes care of her needs and then cuddles up. There are many, many different ways to make sex work for everyone...we just need to get out of the routines.

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

No comments yet for "Achieving Intimacy Without Orgasm" – Be the first!

Sorry, only members can leave a comment. Sign in or Create an Account now.

Get $10 off your order!

Plus be the first to hear about latest products and exclusive offers.