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Q&A: She Is Too Loud During Sex!

Q&A: She Is Too Loud During Sex!

Q: My girlfriend and I have awesome, fulfilling hot-as-can be sex. No complaints there at all. Unfortunately, the problem is that all of my roommates, my neighbours and even some random people on the street know how amazing our sex is because she is so damn loud when we do it! I was with a few women in the past who had sex like we were in silent movies and I didn’t like that either, but this lady takes things to an extreme! We can never have the windows open, even on the hottest days and my flatmates have all spoken to me about the problem. When she cums it is like a horror movie! We’re at the point in our relationship where it is getting close to commitment time and now I’m starting to have some doubts. Is it silly to possibly break up with someone because they are too loud when they have sex?

A: In one word: yes. In another word: no.

Yes, it would be potentially monumentally foolish to end this relationship because she is loud in bed. You’re potentially throwing away a lifemate who could show you every single pleasure in the world. This woman might be the muse you’ve always sought, the inspiration for your greatest achievements and the most amazing lay you’ll ever experience. But you might throw all that away because her doin’ it decibels exceed the societally acceptable levels.

On the other hand, no, it might not be silly because you have discovered a sexual incompatibility between you—and a pretty big one at that. In the past, this type of thing would be swept under the rug as just something you deal with in a relationship. Something akin to leaving your socks on the floor or the toilet seat up. However, now that sexual compatibility is understood to be an important part of relationships, discovering a significant one such as her sensual shrieks could become a deal breaker.

But you left out one important detail in this discussion that is immensely relevant: Have you two ever discussed this situation? Have you ever broached this subject with her? You know, use your own vocal talents? Maybe she has no idea that she’s being so loud. Maybe nobody else has ever told her that her orgasm orchestra is annoying the neighbourhood. It is possible she can’t reign it in, but it is also possible that she can! Let’s not forget the golden rule of relationship troubles: talk about it!

I can already guess your next question...how? How to bring up a potentially delicate sexual subject. I know, I know, nobody likes to be criticized when it comes to sexytimes. The important thing for you to remember in approaching the topic is to be friendly but firm, caring but concerned. Because you’re doubting whether you even want a relationship with this person, you might have already made up your mind to cut bait and fish elsewhere. However, if you think there’s still a chance for something with her, do your best to have a nice, quiet conversation that respects her feelings as well as yours. And hopefully that chat can be chill... because the make-up sex might be noisy! If all else fails, she can always wear a ball gag!

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

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