Stripping Away Bad Relationships

We’ve all been there. The Break-up.

Relationships are hard and letting go of that person, by your or their choice can be excruciating. Particularly if there are hard feelings. Break-ups can leave us devastated and and hurt. We prepare all of our lives, while growing up, for the magnificent day when we find the person we love. The fairy tale is still very much out there, you know, despite all of the divorce statistics and constant stories of relationships dissolving.

An unfortunate extra side effect to sad break-ups is that these situations almost always take a toll on people’s sex lives. If there is any possibly connect drawn between the ending of the relationship and someone’s body or sexual interests, then there is the potential for some serious trauma and ongoing issues. Some of the most fragile parts of our psyches are attached to our sexuality and our appearance. When someone strikes a blow to the armour of either, the pain could be devastating.

Changing the story

So, this story, of a woman reclaiming her bodily and sexual self-esteem and her belief in herself, by participating in a wonderfully body-positive event, is a great example of taking a negative situation and moving forward to a better place.

And here’s where I can relate a little bit. I too have participated in Strip Spelling Bee. I too have gotten up on stage and gotten completely buck in front of a big audience. I failed miserably at trying to spell the words and all my clothes hit the floor. While the situation helped Briony move past the unpleasant things shared by her ex in her break-up, for me, showing off my pale, hairy, middle-aged body let me take a different step forward. I broke up with a part of me.

Guys, I am a writer. I have been for a long time. I think I got my first byline when I was 15 years old. I’ve hidden behind a pen or a keyboard for a long, long time. And that isn’t just in my work life. Same goes for my personal life. And, to an extent, my sex life.

Break-ups can boost

I’m lucky, I’ve had a good sex life, but looking back, if I had been able to better express feelings and desires, it probably would have been that much better. I’ve many desires, fetishes and fantasies that have only come out of my mouth in recent years because I needed a confidence boost.

And much like Briony, I got that at Strip Spelling Bee.

I was already in a relationship the first time I went, so I wasn’t there looking for some kind of sexual interaction. Instead, I was there to, literally, lay myself bare. And when I failed at every one of the three words and a new layer of clothing came off, I gained confidence, bit by bit. The crowd cheered me. I don’t image I was necessarily turning anyone on, but hey, maybe I was. Regardless, from the couple times I did participate in the Bee, I took more and more away. Something clicked inside me and my ability to communicate, sexually and otherwise, has been improved ever since.

Strip away the bad relationships—regardless who they’re with.