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Get Ready for Intergalactic Orgasms

Get Ready for Intergalactic Orgasms

Have you ever been outside on a lovely summer night, laying in the grass with your lover, looking up at the stars and wondered “Where will my cum go if I blow a load in space?”

Well, certainly that isn’t the only question that would come to mind. I’m sure you’d be pondering positions and thrusting and what boobs and balls would look like and much, much more. Space: the final frontier indeed!

To sexily go…

Despite many space missions by different countries, there is no verified record of anyone having had sex in outer space. There has been one couple who spent time together orbiting Earth, but they have steadfastly refused to divulge whether they experimented with any extraterrestrial lovin’. I hope, if they have gotten up to space shenanigans, that they have written these stories down and it will somehow get released. Not only could this be hotter than a solar flare, but there is, potentially, significant scientific data that could be gained from observing people of all different sexualities and interests screwing among the stars.

Let’s ponder some questions:

These are just some of the countless things I personally would love to learn about sex in space because I am, if anything, someone who likes to anticipate the future. I may not be orbiting our planet any time soon in a space flight...but what if we do somehow colonize space sometime soon? Would I want to live out there? And, of course, would I want to fuck out there???

Lift off!

Despite the no-tell nature of the space couple, I think it is safe to assume that astronauts have masturbated in space. I don’t know how they dispose of garbage out there, but I presume there’ve been some scrunched up Kleenexes discovered. Maybe these tissues are even floating out in the cosmos! Let’s not even get into the blockbuster movie potential of aliens finding one of these cumrags, extracting the DNA and then using that to create beings that look just like humans and then they integrate into society only to try and overthrow the world and...and...and…

Wait! I’m trying to be serious. We’re not getting into aliens. That’ll be another post: Alien Sex 101.

No, let’s stay on topic and turn things to porn. Last year, PornHub attempted to crowdfund enough money to send two porn performers into space to film a scene. They didn’t make their goal—and I consider this a lost opportunity. Governments surely want people who are trained and can make a proper scientific analysis of the whole procedure. Okay, porn stars might only be familar with the anal part of analysis, but you can’t argue that they aren’t trained for the mission!

So, we wait. We wait for one small lick for humans, one giant orgasm for humankind.

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

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