Sale - Up to 70% off

Sale - Up to 70% off

Q&A: Anal On The First Date?

Q&A: Anal On The First Date?

Q: Would you believe I was recently asked if I did anal on a first date! I couldn’t believe this guy I’d just met online thought this would be ok to ask. Really? We hadn’t actually started anything, but I was pretty shocked. Am I crazy for thinking that anal is NOT a first date thing? I am a little older (42), but this just seems a little extreme.

A: To begin, let’s just clarify that age has nothing to do with wondering about the potential for bum lovin’ shortly after saying “Nice to meet you.” Remember, anal sex is nothing new. Sure, it has definitely increased in popularity and societal acceptance, but people have been enjoying buttsex for, well, ever. Surely, you aren’t the first to be asked, and you definitely won’t be the last.

That said, if you’re conforming to common sexual courtesy and following the famous baseball analogy when it comes to gettin’ busy, then anal is the victory lap after hitting the game-winning home run. You don’t usually get to do that until you’ve rounded the bases - at least once. While there is a greater acceptance of anal these days, it is still a taboo act for some.

Of course, some people really love anal sex! And why not! It can be both wildly raunchy and intensely intimate. More people have, literally, opened themselves up to the sexual sensations that are entirely unique to anal sex. It can be a mindblowing experience. And, of course, if you are mutually agreeable to the idea, there is absolutely nothing wrong with buttsex on the first date. There is nothing wrong with any consensual and enthusiastic sexual encounter on the first date. It can be casual or it can be romantic. It can be slow and sensual or it can be wham bam. And absolutely, it can be anal.

And that, I’m guessing, is what your paramour was hoping for. Because you haven’t mentioned how he asked, I’m going to hope that he was considerate and asked your likes and dislikes, your desires and your boundaries in a respectful manner. If this is the case, this is actually a great thing! There is nothing wrong with open, constructive conversations about our sexual needs and wants. It is part of getting to know each other - necessary part that can help establish whether you are compatible.

Unfortunately, we must note that there is a good chance he wasn’t asking in a sex positive way because too many men have not figured out how to do this. If the way he asked was offensive or uncomfortable to you, then you get a pretty clear indication of what type of person - and sex partner he really is. From the sounds of it, he’s not someone you’d be interested in pursuing.

Let’s remember there is no shame in differing sexual desires. This fellow really wanted your bum, the next might be all about breasts. Another will be gaga over your vag. So, no, it is not wrong, but you do have to ask properly.

About Jon Pressick
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is the sex community's international gadabout and Cherry Banana's writer in residence. An award-winning sex writer and blogger, Jon is the editor of the critically-acclaimed Best Sex Writing of the Year, Volume 1. He is a frequent contributor to Cherry Banana with a range of sex-related content and his writing has appeared in numerous magazines and books, as well as all across the Internet. Jon is also a co-host and producer of the long-running sex radio show Sex City. You can keep up with his many sex-related articles here at Cherry Banana or at his own blog, Sex in Words.

No comments yet for "Q&A: Anal On The First Date?" – Be the first!

Sorry, only members can leave a comment. Sign in or Create an Account now.

Get $10 off your order!

Plus be the first to hear about latest products and exclusive offers.