Collars: A Symbol Of Love And Pleasure

Everybody knows that Beyonce song “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”, right? It is all about making the commitment to a relationship if you’re really into it by using the most enduring symbol of connectedness—a wedding ring. Many cultures, particularly Western ones, use a wedding ring to signify the everlasting bond of wedded bliss (we’re not going to mention divorce or alternative relationship models right now). That small band of gold, wrapped around a finger carries so much significance in society.

Did you know there is another similarly-shaped device meant to enwrap a body part that also denotes a significant emotional bond?

What is a collar?

While certainly not as widely known or recognized in mainstream society, a collar is a very important adornment in the BDSM community. Actually, to call it an adornment is perhaps putting it lightly. Worn around the neck, a collar signifies the bond between a Dominant/Master and a submissive/slave and for many is tantamount to a formal marriage with a golden band. Some outside the BDSM community might consider a collar nothing more than a fashion accessory, but those who believe in them certainly do not.

Collars signify the slave/submissive’s desire to serve a Dominant/Master. They want to live some or all of their lives providing both sexual and non-sexual companionship while at the same time submitting to the Master’s desires. This dynamic can take many different forms, from occasional to 24/7.

Collar ceremonies

Long used in the BDSM and leather communities, a collar is given to a submissive/slave by a Dominant/Master. For some, much ceremony can accompany the bestowing of a collar. As a D/s relationship grows, some might choose to take their collaring commitment in stages. A collar of commitment is the first stage. During this time, the Dominant and submissive relationship has been established and the people are still learning about each other. The Dominant begins training the submissive to understand and adhere to the Dominant’s needs. Should this connection not work out, the Dominant can release the submissive with minimal hard feelings.

The next phase would be analogous to an engagement ring: the training collar. This is a serious stage with training intensifying and commitment deepening. Removing a training collar can be an extremely hurtful situation.

Finally, a slave collar is the ultimate D/s commitment that is most similar to a marriage without the legal recognition. Many consider a slave collaring a commitment for life with the submissive/slave formally owned by the Dominant/Master. This status is significant in both the BDSM and mainstream society—even if the mainstream doesn’t really know it.

Societal perceptions

Because collars are not as socially acceptable in our world of limited understanding of differing sexualities, some slaves will choose to wear their collar all the time while others will remove it for work, family or other social situations. Others choose to have differing collars for home and out and about. The fact that collars come in many different styles (including leather, metal, lace, latex, rubber and more) and have been integrated into many different current fashions, wearing a collar or a collar-equivalent (such as a choker or necklace) has become a lot easier.

There is much complexity to wearing collars and D/s relationships in general and we encourage you to learn more if you are interested. It isn’t a relationship dynamic for everybody, but it is definitely a great option for those who live to serve.