3 Anal Sex Mishaps To Avoid

Ah, the internet. It truly is a glorious thing. We are more informed than ever before, with news and data travelling rapidly across the planet as soon as something happens. We can enjoy various, unique forms of entertainment from all over the world. If our friends or loved ones happen to be in a distant land, we can see them, talk to them and experience their presence.

And then there are all of the anal sex stories.

Sure, the internet wasn’t built for sex, but sex sure has found a significant place online. Is anything more popular? Not only is porn ubiquitous with the web, but general discussions of sex and sexuality have taken a new life online. People are connecting for sex, talking about issues involving sex and sharing stories about sex—both to thrill and tease, but also to and inform and for humour.

Wild, crazy, embarrassing and gut busting stories about sex are all over the internet. TMI just doesn’t apply when you can share your miscues and mistakes with a wide, predominantly anonymous audience. Knowing that you’ve shared your own funny sex story must be a thrill to some folks.

And good for them! Destigmatizing sexual situations is important. Too many people are taught a version of sex that rarely ever exists. Sex is not what we see in the movies, on tv or in porn. Sex is sometimes messy, sometimes awkward, sometimes hilarious. Let’s embrace that!

Check out some the stories people have been sharing about their misadventures with anal sex. Here’s a sex act that has greatly risen in popularity in the past 30 years. Formerly very taboo, buttsex is starting to reach the status of being commonplace. Most porn now includes at least one anal scene. Greater numbers of people than ever before are reporting that they’ve come in the backdoor. So it only makes sense that there are some common mistakes and unfortunately experiences with bum fun.

The Slip

This is an age old situation that is actually a real jerk move. Guy wants anal sex. Guy and girl are gettin’ it on. Without previously discussing, guy tries to slip his dick into her ass. Girl is surprised by this penetration but guy feigns ignorance. Guy claims he just ‘slipped.’

This may make for a hilarious sitcom moment, as it did on an episode of The Mindy Project, but this one is actually pretty serious. But not gaining consent beforehand, this guy is really committing assault. Guy is violating girl. This is completely unacceptable. Given that inserting a penis inside an asshole is much more challenging than into a vagina, regardless the angle and position, guys have to realize the slip excuse is not at all credible. Stop it. Stop it now. If you want to try anal with your partner, discuss it beforehand and respect her wishes.

The Flared Base

There are many different ways sex can put you in the hospital. It is not always a safe activity. Even when you’re playing by yourself! Even though masturbation seems to be pretty basic, there are precautions that should be taken. Especially when playing with your or someone else’s butt.

This is the flared base talk, everyone.

There is one general rule when it comes to anal sex: if you’re going to put something in there, you have to make sure you can get it out. The anus and rectum are not like a vagina. They are built to hold things in. It is very, very easy to lose sex toys or other objects inside your ass. Sometimes, to such a degree, that medical attention is required.

Do you want to go to the emergency room to get a dildo out of your ass? It doesn’t sound like a fun experience. However, it happens. A lot.

To avoid this situation, you should only put toys and items that have a flared base up your bum. This means that one end of your toy is distinctly wider and flatter at one end. This will prevent the sex toy from “falling” into your asshole during sex—and help you avoid a trip to the ER. Butt plugs are the perfect shape for this.

Shit Happens

Friends, it may not be the most pleasant thing in the world for most people, but if you’re going to play with your own or someone else’s ass, at some point, you’re going to encounter some poop. It is inevitable. If you cannot deal with this fact of life, then you should probably reconsider your interest in anal exploration. Dealing with shit is, after all, that orifice’s main concern. And really, it is no big deal.

There are, however, things you can do to minimize this possibility it someone wants to knock on your back door.

• Watch your diet. If you want to put anal on the menu, try to eat better. A better diet means better, regular poops. Try to avoid spicy foods that might irritate the stomach.
• Discuss anal in advance and be ready to change your mind. Sometimes you never know when your body is more on the messy side and good communication with ensure everyone understands why plans change.
• Keep a damp cloth handy. If there is some brown lingering around, take a pause and clean up. No big deal. Wipe, wipe, and we’re good to go.

Good luck on your ass-adventures—even if they don’t always go smoothly. And if they don’t, be sure to tell us about it!